Monday, November 5, 2012

overflowing

Despite counting the thanks the last few days, it has been a season of a lot of anxiety for me recently.  Things that we are working through in our hearts and minds have given a heavy burden.  I have been overwhelmed with sadness and distress for a few friends who are going through really low spots right now.  And support raising - well, let's just say that this is one thing that is testing my not-so-patient personality more than anything I have experienced!  With the combination of these things, we recently called to God to show himself in an obvious and tangible way.  I don't feel bad doing this - I'm in good company if you read through the Bible.
Let me just say that God knows how to answer that prayer - even in excess.  Situations have not necessarily changed (that I know of), yet His love for me and his answers to prayers overflowed today.  Support came in from places not expected, prayers for friends started pouring out of my heart and mouth with hope and anticipation instead of dread and worry, and I felt like a burden of several tons has been lifted.  And it just kept happening all day!
The funny thing is how I reacted to it at first. When the first event happened I got nervous, waiting for the "but" to be thrown in.  When the next thing happened, I literally felt like I was going to throw up, wondering if it was a carrot being dangled in front of me.  (I have such a warped view of our Father!) Then God called out to me.  He reminded me of what I asked of him.  He gently pulled me into a hug and peace and joy filled my soul.  That was the best part.  Living with anxiety, worry, depression - it eats away at you, and slowly makes you feel hopeless.
Tonight as we sat in a room with several other ministry families around us that we have been friends with for the past 4 years and heard them pray over us, I choked up from the loss again.  But it was a different sort of emotion.  One that was filled with my own sadness of leaving and losing - yet still peaceful because I know He is in it.  One that had joy for the friendships that I have with these people.  One that made me think that if they are praying for us like this at other times, what do I have to worry about?  From that confidence and assurance I was able to empathize and pray for my friends in a way that they cannot do right now in their own raw emotions and losses.
God, you are Holy, mighty, awesome, peace-giving, powerful, merciful, Abba.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.  

1 comment:

  1. Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good. His steadfast love endures forever.

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