It's Good Friday. This year as we went into Holy Week, I have been sorting some of these things out in my heart and mind, and holding onto things that have become more reverent and important to me over the years. Last year I blogged about how getting to know our friends in the Episcopal and Methodist churches have added a rich liturgy and depth of prayer to our walk with Him. This year as I zipped into Maundy Thursday with no thought to what day it was (other than the day before some of our family comes in for the weekend) I found myself seated in "Christina's" chair in their living room with them and talking about going to Maundy Thursday services that evening. I am so thankful for friends who don't make me feel stupid when I ask questions like, "What exactly is Maundy Thursday" and "Why don't we observe it in our church?" As we join a team in South Sudan next year and they are from mostly PCA backgrounds working with the Anglican church there, I figured it would be a good thing to know as well!
I went home from their house having gone through a couple of passages from Fenelon and Augustine (We are going through Classic Devotions by Foster together) but more than that I came home with some questions to mull around in my mind. As I continue in this walk with Christ, I realize how much I have "thrown the baby out with the bath water" so to speak. And I am ever so much thirsting after a more concrete way of knowing him. I realize that for many growing up in a church where this liturgy and schedule was abused, it is not a means of communing deeper with him. But for someone who has chosen a very lifestyle of constant change and going into churches that are in need of spiritual development and maturity, this scheduled, calm, ancient way of praying and seeing things is a wonderful comfort and new way to hear from Him.
So in my own way, in my own heart I came before Jesus yesterday in my thanks to him for the last supper, one of the things that happened during this season that we celebrate as Easter. And today as I remember what he did for me, I sit with tears streaming down my face. Because each day - every day- is a chance to remember his great love for me!