Monday, December 19, 2011

a new song

"Parenting is the composing, the performing, of music, song upon song. Musicians play one right note after the next right note after the next right note. It’s not an erratic splattering of sound, a fickle, helter-skelter banging of random notes. Music has order. It is composed. Notes are intentional, considered, deliberate.

As music has rhythm, recurring refrains, order, so does peaceful parenting. One action thoughtfully follows the next action that wisely follows the next. Days of habits, fluid and lyrical, create pleasing harmony. Lives with known rhythms, thoughtful arrangements, sing.

I have flailed and I have failed.

But there is hope. Listen. Can you hear the serenade of His Kingdom? “Behold I make all things new (Rev 21:5). I am about to do something new (Isa 43:19).” We with shapeless, jarring songs may, thankfully, choose new songs."
Ann Voskamp

I am reading her book, One thousand Gifts right now, thanks to a recommendation from my friend, Jennifer. It is kicking my butt, and changing my heart. As I was sitting in bed reading with Shawn last night there were tears streaming down my cheeks, and he looked at me, surprised. When he asked why I was crying, I said, "This stupid book!" He asked me to explain more, but I felt like I couldn't - like I am at that place where there is something so new, so raw that I can't put it in my own words just yet. Though it touches my heart and soul and I long to understand and know better, it still feels like it is just out there beyond my grasp in some part.

So I told him to read the book. It's not his writing style, and he may struggle through some of it, but I have no doubt he will be curious enough to wonder what touched his wife so deeply that he will check it out.

The blurb above is from her blog, aholyexperience.com. In my desire to seek out Eucharisteo (intentional life-filling gratitude) each day, I realize how much I have missed in the rat race of life. I have hurried and run, pushed and shoved, and overlooked the gifts that are given to me each day. And in the process I have cultivated the same ideas in my children. So as I am learning to savor, to be intentional, to be grateful for each moment and remember it is a gift, not a right, I am desiring to pass that on to my children.

That means changing some things in my own life. Digging up some old, deep-rooted habits of chaos and unorganization, and establishing some peaceful patterns in our family life, in our prayer times, and in our seeking of love.

My sweet friend, Jenna, uses the expression "Word Vomit" and I feel like that is what I am doing right now as I try to express what He is doing in my heart and life! But there is real life and desire and passion and hope coming back in after months (years?) of scurrying, hurrying, and hopelessness. That is going to be number one on my list of gifts for which I am thankful. And as I start to teach my children this way of living, I will sit and enjoy watching as they blossom into people who live this way at a young age. It will affect the way they choose to live and relationships they desire to have.

Lord, make us new...

1 comment:

  1. Heather, Thanks for this. This book has also been powerful in my life this year, also.

    I wouldn't classify this post as word vomit, which is usually the junk in your heart spilling out of your mouth. This may be stream of conscienceness, but it is the breath of life you are sharing. Thanks.

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