One of the benefits of doing all the counseling for World Harvest this summer was the friendship we formed with our counselor. This morning we took the hour long trek to Lee, Massachusetts to spend a couple of hours hashing through things with her and taking in her wisdom. It wasn't so much that we had big issues, but more that she is a person who has "been there, done that" when it comes to living in Africa, raising funds, being in the pastorate, and just the life that we lead in general!
She reminded me that I am not a complete failure in every aspect of life, and that some of these emotional swings I have are normal. (You hear that? I AM normal!) ;)
It comes from a snowball effect with emotions. I have a bad day with the kids and I must be a horrible parent. The next day school doesn't go as well as I wanted it to, so my teaching abilities are in question. Then someone decides to leave the church, so I must be the worst pastor's wife on the planet. And I can't even get dinner right - I burn my husband's favorite meal! What a disaster of a wife I am! See what I mean? Something simple-one individual act- makes everything else seem so much worse than it really is, and soon I think that I am a complete failure at life. It's good to be reminded that his mercies are new every morning, and even if I mess up at something in one moment, all that means is the next moment is a new one to start again. I am not defined by who I am or how well (or badly) I do things! I am defined only by my relationship with my Father-and he thinks I am beautiful; he sings over me in love; he pursues me in his desire to be with me and make me whole; he gave his very life so we can be together for eternity; and I am a co-heir with the Prince of Peace! I have everything as his child!
I am so thankful for his gift of newness.