It's been a restless couple of weeks for me. In all the uncertainty around us, the worst part is feeling like I am alone in it. I could handle the questions, the doubt, and the circumstances if I felt like God was really listening. But it was one of those Dark Night times, and instead of pressing on, I gave up for a while.
Then suddenly, as quickly as it appeared, it started to fade away. And the haze of unbelief and worry I was in started to clear. And I could breathe again. And God was there - as he had been all along - in a more real an intimate way than before.
I don't pretend to understand his ways. Part of me wants to, because I am such a control freak! But a bigger part of me knows that one of the reasons I cannot understand is because he is so much more than I can fathom - and would I really want to worship and follow a God that was completely understandable?
I have been reading Streams in Desert and journaling through that recently. Last night I read this poem:
Dear restless heart, be still; don't fret and worry so;
God has a thousand ways his love and help to show;
Just trust, and trust, and trust until his will you know.
Dear restless heart, be still; for peace is God's own smile,
His love can every wrong and sorrow reconcile;
Just love, and love, and love, and calmly wait a while.
Dear restless heart, be brave; don't moan and sorrow so,
He hath a meaning kind in chilly winds that blow;
Just hope, and hope, and hope, until you braver grow.
Dear restless heart, repose upon his breast this hour.
His grace is strength and life, his love is bloom and flower;
Just rest, and rest, and rest, within his tender power.
Dear restless heart, be still! Don't struggle to be free;
God's life is in your life, from him you may not flee;
Just pray, and pray, and pray, till you have faith to see.
-Edith Willis Linn
May this poem bless you today!